These are just some of my random thoughts about how men view women. BE BLESSED.
“…man looks at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart.” (1Sam. 16:7)
Some men are “leg” men. Some men are “breast” men. Some are “butt” men! A lot of men are very good at seeing the female form. They can appreciate it in all aspects. They have their likes and dislikes about the physical features of a female. They judge a woman’s worth based on her form and how much she meets their criteria for physical beauty. They can see her but, they cannot see the woman inside the female. While they can easily see and appreciate the outer beauty of the female (which will fade over time), they have no idea of how to see and appreciate the beauty of the woman inside the female (which continues to grow over time).
When a man can look beyond a woman’s breasts and look into her eyes, that is great. When a man can look beyond a woman’s eyes and look into her soul, it’s even greater. That means that he is paying attention to her and truly sees her for who she is and not just for how she looks. If a man only or mainly knows her by her physical attributes and marries her, the marriage is doomed to mediocrity or failure as long as he doesn’t get to really know the woman within.
She will know if his love for her is mainly based on how she looks and that won’t be enough for either of them in a very short while. After all, how long can a conversation last about physical beauty? Once you have said, “You’re beautiful”, how many more times can you say it during the course of a day? It gets old really quick! A man’s wife should always feel beautiful when he looks at her- it doesn’t matter if she has gained a couple of pounds, or has become gray or whatever the current condition is.
Yes, physical looks are important. We (men or women) shouldn’t allow ourselves to get sloppy in our appearance after marriage. For true lasting romantic love in marriage, it has to go way beyond ‘how she looks’. The Bible tells men to love their wives in knowledge. That doesn’t mean ignoring her looks, but, it does mean knowing the woman beyond her outward appearance and getting to know the woman inside of the female, her beauty and making her feel beautiful. The rewards for both you and your wife will be great.
“For as he thinks in his heart, so he is.” (Prov. 23:7)
One of my spiritual daughters once told me that a man told her that she would make a good politician’s wife! I wondered if he also thought that he would make a good poet’s husband! Was he even aware that she is a poet? If so, did he expect her to stop being a poet to accommodate his needs?
So often, some men tend to think of their wives as accessories to their careers. You put on your pants, your socks and shoes, your shirt and tie, your jacket with a handkerchief in the breast pocket. And, oh yes, you put on your wife! No wife wants to feel on par with a neck tie. I told my spiritual daughter that, if she was to marry this man or anyone else, she is not marrying a politician, she is marrying a husband. If he doesn’t understand this, then he will never be a husband until he truly understands that difference.
A simple fact is, in order to be a husband, you have to first think like a husband. You can’t be a successful husband and still think like a single man. It won’t work! You are not single anymore. If you want to keep thinking like a single man, stay single. But, if you get married, you have to start thinking like a married man. Your wife has to have more value to you more than an asset to your career. You are not a politician, pastor or lawyer at home, you are a husband. That means that you have to be concerned about your wife’s concerns.
Some people say that when they get married, they are not going to change. They plan to keep on doing whatever they were doing before they got married. I tell them not to get married because they will just mess up someone’s life for no reason. They are already planning for failure. Why bring someone else into that mess?
When you say that you are getting married, you are saying by default that, YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE! It’s not that you have to stop being you, but when you take that next step, you become a new you. You have to take time to get to know and develop that new you. You have to learn to think differently. You have to learn to think like a husband only then will you be able to treat your wife with value and not like an accessory.
May God grant us understanding.
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